The Taliban is Toast
That great spring offensive we’ve been threatening? Forget about it.
We took a headcount recently and decided it was time to think outside the box. Outside the killzone, actually. First, we repeatedly got our *sses handed to us on the battlefield by forces that were generally only assisted and supported by the Americans. After that series of failures swept us from our cruel, despotic rule, we bravely switched to guerrilla tactics. Okay, so our record was dismal in that, as well, and we were unable to dent the growing legitimacy of the new government or severely harm the Americans. Oh yeah, we were also getting shredded. That tends to harm morale, we admit.
Now, we have bravely decided to become the thugs and terrorists the world already knew us to be. In this, we may be able to kill more innocents while bravely saving some of our own *sses.
UPDATED FOR MORE "FAMILY FRIENDLINESS". TEAM HAMMER DOES NOT USE PROFANITY IN POSTS, BUT MAY QUOTE A PARTY THAT DOES.