The Taliban is Toast
Excellent details with quotes from prominent officials and such are available over at Target Center Mass. However, I prefer the following summary:
"Dear Reuters,
That great spring offensive we’ve been threatening? Forget about it.
We took a headcount recently and decided it was time to think outside the box. Outside the killzone, actually. First, we repeatedly got our *sses handed to us on the battlefield by forces that were generally only assisted and supported by the Americans. After that series of failures swept us from our cruel, despotic rule, we bravely switched to guerrilla tactics. Okay, so our record was dismal in that, as well, and we were unable to dent the growing legitimacy of the new government or severely harm the Americans. Oh yeah, we were also getting shredded. That tends to harm morale, we admit.
Now, we have bravely decided to become the thugs and terrorists the world already knew us to be. In this, we may be able to kill more innocents while bravely saving some of our own *sses.
Sincerely,
the Taliban"
UPDATED FOR MORE "FAMILY FRIENDLINESS". TEAM HAMMER DOES NOT USE PROFANITY IN POSTS, BUT MAY QUOTE A PARTY THAT DOES.
"Dear Reuters,
That great spring offensive we’ve been threatening? Forget about it.
We took a headcount recently and decided it was time to think outside the box. Outside the killzone, actually. First, we repeatedly got our *sses handed to us on the battlefield by forces that were generally only assisted and supported by the Americans. After that series of failures swept us from our cruel, despotic rule, we bravely switched to guerrilla tactics. Okay, so our record was dismal in that, as well, and we were unable to dent the growing legitimacy of the new government or severely harm the Americans. Oh yeah, we were also getting shredded. That tends to harm morale, we admit.
Now, we have bravely decided to become the thugs and terrorists the world already knew us to be. In this, we may be able to kill more innocents while bravely saving some of our own *sses.
Sincerely,
the Taliban"
UPDATED FOR MORE "FAMILY FRIENDLINESS". TEAM HAMMER DOES NOT USE PROFANITY IN POSTS, BUT MAY QUOTE A PARTY THAT DOES.
posted by Hammertime at
4/18/2005 11:28:00 AM
2 Comments:
My apologies for the language. I was only trying to best voice the thoughts of the enemy.
You have a nice site nere. I'll certainly be back.
By
Anonymous, at 4/23/2005 03:01:00 AM
I thought you had it perfectly, Gunner! I am just aware that, as a publicly proclaimed Christian, I am held to certain standards by the general public, and don't have a good reason not to comply. Keep it up!
By
Hammertime, at 4/27/2005 11:22:00 PM
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