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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Flip Flop

I wanted to depart briefly from the light and easy posting of late for something that really hits home for all of us - warm-weather fashion.

This has been in and out of my mind since last summer's photo of a group of young ladies at the White House. Their footwear caused a small stir in some circles.

Let me put it bluntly to start: Ladies, if you are interested in a man who is goal-oriented, driven, and has high standards of achievement for himself, forego the flip-flops.

Now that summer is upon us, we will be subject to the fashion whims hidden over the fall. The boots are out, the open-toes footwear is in. Flip-flops are horrible.

Why is that? First, we must recognize that we send a message with our appearance. Whether it is a dirty T-shirt, an elegant wristwatch, Birkenstocks or pajama bottoms (shudder), everything we wear tells others not who we are, but who we want them to think we are. This fact is non-negotiable. They also (obviously) impact our attractiveness.

Flip-flops are negative in both regards. First, attractiveness impact. Ladies, shoes that are flat, in a heeled world, make your legs look stumpy. Sorry, it's true. If you don't believe me, walk over to your full length mirror barefoot and stand there, looking at your lower leg. Now stand on your toes. Now go back down. See? Flip flops make you less physically attractive.

They also send a message. The message is "I am lazy." You may think the particular color and design is cute, but it's the same as plain white. "Lazy." "Not concerned enough with looking good to make an effort."

On the one hand, many ladies will claim that they "do it for comfort." This, of course, is nonsense. The time and energy spent doing their hair and makeup, as well as choosing that blouse and those capri pants make it clear that it was important enough to look good that you went through all the effort...but the failure to properly accessorize with a nice, heeled open toe sandal of some type says "too lazy to make the extra effort."

Of course, you can forego most of the above and go with the full "slob" ensemble seen on college campuses and in malls - t-shirt, rumpled pajama bottoms and flip-flops. At least then you know you look like a bum. However, to hamstring yourself by throwing on a quick pair of pink flip-flops with a little flower on the thong destroys all the work you did - at least for discerning men.

Don't get me wrong - this isn't a value judgment or a condemnation of character. What it is - a recitation of a truthful observation, that as the clothes make the man, so the shoes make the woman - at least in the eyes of the observer.

Mrs. Hammer is not high filutin', snobby, or a fashion freak. However, she would not go out in flip-flops unless it is to the mailbox or the back yard. Those ladies who want a man who doesn't care what you wear on your feet - well, you will get them. Just don't be surprised when you want to go out with them, and they wear the same grungy outfits they always do. Why? Those who don't care about what other wear start by not caring what they wear themselves.

I'm not shallow, but I recognize that character exhibits itself in many ways. As I tell my kids and young people I get to talk to, "If he is nice to you but mean to the waiter, he is not a nice person." In our relationship seeking, we have to look for clues into the character of those we observe. Discipline in one area is indicative of discipline in others, and laziness in one area is indicative of laziness in others.

So, ladies, put the flip-flops back in the closet and go grab a $9.99 set of open toed sandals with at least an inch and a half of heel. Men of high standards notice footwear, but we can't tell the difference between Prada and Buster Brown.


  • Ummm..stick to the light stuff.

    Just kidding but I have to disagree but then again I'm already married and quiet frankly leave the high heels for the bedroom. I'm not out to attract, nor do I spend more then 5 minutes brushing my hair, my teeth and using the bathroom before I head out. I don't wear sloppy clothes but I also don't dress to impress, unless of course I'm on a date with said husband and then yeah I dress to impress.

    Remember it's not what's on the outside but what's on the inside.

    I say all this while I wear my cute and fashionable flip flops (beaded of course).

    By Blogger anna, at 4/19/2006 05:05:00 PM  

  • Hmmm, so whether or not I have stumpy-looking legs is somehow important in the big scheme of things? I'm six feet tall, BTW, so I doubt my legs are ever going to look stumpy.

    Granted, I was appalled at the photo of the women at the White House wearing flip-flops, but only because their footwear didn't match the formality of the occasion.

    I am interested in a man who is goal-oriented, driven, and has high standards of achievement...I'm married to him. In fact, he matches all of those criteria more than anyone else I know. And he couldn't care less what I wear on my feet.

    I have to wholeheartedly disagree that flip-flops are an indicator of laziness. Yes, the $.99 Wal-Mart 1/4 inch thick flip-flops may indicate laziness or a tight budget, but I'm guessing Anna looks cute as a button in her cute and fashionable beaded flip-flops, and I would characterize neither her nor I as lazy. Yes, it's just as easy to slip on the heeled sandals as the flip-flops, so it's illogical to argue that flip-flops are a choice made from laziness rather than just a personal fashion preference.

    I hope that this is more tongue-in-cheek than it sounds and that we can count on you to teach your daughter that there are far more important things about her than what she chooses to put on her feet and that shoes, in fact, do not make the woman.

    By Blogger Mary Beth, at 4/19/2006 05:19:00 PM  

  • See Hammer if you want controversy then talk about a woman's shoe. That sir is where the controversy lies.

    By Blogger anna, at 4/20/2006 12:20:00 AM  

  • Ah, yes...flip flops. I don't own a solitary pair. (I am 5'9, and I have very long legs so it is a choice for me, as well) It is becoming quite evident to me that few people care about their appearance.

    In my blog, I have a few rants about marriage and parenting that discuss my disgust for this trend. Get married...get complacent. I believe we have a duty to maintain, to the best of our ability, our appearance at the time of the wedding. Marriage is not an institution to just be lived in. It is an institution to work to make the OTHER person happy. It is my job to look my best, as well as BEHAVE my best every single day. I suppose if a couple marries, and the woman wasn't a "makeup wearer", or was a "flip flop wearer", than there is nothing to discuss. He was happy with her appearance, and she was happy with his. I suppose to each his own. I can still dislike the dressed down and lazy look, and they can still appreciate it. However, my problem comes with those who marry someone, and then give up on looking nice to impress the spouse.

    Each day, with four children, I exercise, shower, do my hair and makeup and proceed with my day. I don't buy that just because we have kids we don't have time.

    Years ago, women dressed up for cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping. It was a way of thinking, and was certainly less spendy than the wasteful spending of most nowadays who use credit cards for their "needs". It isn't a matter of having to dress to fit the part of a housewife, it is about being lazy-just as hammer said.

    You will find me at home, the store, church, and the park always with makeup and always with dressy clothes. Why? It costs me about the same or less than jeans (I don't do jeans) and I look better, feel better, and my husband is constantly attracted to me....Likewise with him. He has always been a well dressed and manicured man. If he were to change that now, gained a lot of weight from being lazy, and thought "I'm too busy to care" then it would be a reflection of his love for me, and his desire to please me.

    I don't think it is superficial, or against the beliefs of Christianity to want to look your best every day. I am not vain, and realize that this is the face and body God has given me. However, I do believe if I can look my best with it each day-I will. For myself, and my husband.

    By Blogger Rightthinker, at 4/20/2006 11:10:00 AM  

  • Oh, and just a quick note. Hammer has every right to teach his daughter that the way you dress is a reflection of who you are. We are not talking labels here. I haven't worn designer labels since I had free spending money from jobs in high school. I don't care about labels. I think a person can shop at Walmart, Kmart or Target, and look very polished.

    I have two daughters, and two boys. Along with teaching them everything the Bible has instructed for their lives, they will learn that if they look polished (no matter what the budget and what their body is) they will attract like kind. Looking your best says you care.

    My girls will wear dresses until they don't want to wear them daily. Then they will choose from feminine, conservative and polished skirts, dresses and pants.

    My girls don't have flip flops, and they don't wear sweats. (Neither do the boys, for that matter) Not because those are bad, but because I want them to appreciate looking like an old-fashioned little girl in conservative and feminine clothing.

    By Blogger Rightthinker, at 4/20/2006 11:17:00 AM  

  • Rightthinker, While I agree that it's always best to look your best I feel my agruement here is that the flip flop is a look of slobbiness and laziness.
    Like you I get up everyday and dress and exercise and try to look my best. I guess for me though looking my best somedays means I wear a cute pair of flipflops.
    I too raise my daughter to look her best, but at the same time she is daily under the attack that looks is where it's all at (she's a preteener) so I try to set a Godly example that looking the best comes second to behaving the best. If there's a job to be done and I've got on my "around the house" clothes (jeans and a tshirt......I know heaven forbid) then I do the job. I don't want to worry about my appearence but about whether or not I can complete the job at hand.

    And yes my husband married someone who dressed down most of the time but could dress up when needed. He's most attracted to me when I'm being me. Flip Flops and all.

    By Blogger anna, at 4/20/2006 05:59:00 PM  

  • Anna, I completely respect the need to teach our daughters about the importance of who they are vs what the look like. Unfortunately, I think in this world, it is a difficult task.

    It is hard when the world places so much emphasis on appearance, not to confuse the need to do our best to look nice, with enveloping that into who we are. So many parents also allow their children to dress sloppily while saying, "Oh, it is just the style", or, "They are just being themselves", not understanding that the particular look is a trend in of itself.

    I suppose what it comes down to is that I am saddened that people don't dress themselves or their children like they used to. There was a time, like I said, that women did all their housework, shopping, and even gardening in dressier clothing. Why? It was feminine, and it looked nice. I have Orthodox Catholic friends that are not permitted to wear pants or flip flops, and frankly, it is refreshing! They do all their many chores in full-length dresses and skirts, and the women are feminine and they are not ashamed of their outdated roles.

    Children in the stores, playing in the yard and attending birthday parties should be dressed nicely. One can find nice clothes at a thrift store so I don't see the need to buy things that look like they are for homeless people. (I, obviously have no idea what you look like, so I am not making a statement about you!) Some women look nice in jeans and a t-shirt. I don't. I look bad. I look good in skirts, dresses or capris. Feminine clothing for a feminine life.

    However, you hit it right on the money when you said that your husband loves you in your flip flops and dressed down. There are as many people who find that attractive as there are people who find those who wear makeup and dressier styles more attractive. That is a reflection of the time.

    By Blogger Rightthinker, at 4/20/2006 06:31:00 PM  

  • You, I often disagree with you, Hammer, but I really disagree here. Flip-flops are cute. Heels look good in a dress but often look just stupid.

    But back in high school, the girls who really caught my eye showed up barefoot. (Yes, it was against the rules, but some tried.)

    By Blogger Mark, at 4/21/2006 12:58:00 AM  

  • I was born and raised in the south, so I was taught early on that going out in public should be treated with a certain amount of formality. The two occasions I remember in particular are going to the doctor's office or flying. My mother and/or I never went to the doctor in anything but pants or a skirt, and I remember the first time Jay and I flew together (on a commercial jet). I think he thought I was off my rocker for wearing a skirt. I was raised that this was a matter of respect for the people around me...the doctor, the other people on the plane, etc.

    At my last job we had casual Friday and while my co-worker gladly wore jeans and T-shirts, I hemmed and hawed over wearing nice capris and open-toed shoes. The open-toed shoes are what killed me...I was beside myself with concern that they would not be showing proper respect to my workplace or to the people who came in from outside.

    So, I understand dressing nicely. However, I simply take exception to Hammer's claim that a "goal-oriented, driven" man with "high standards" will not be interested in a woman wearing flip-flops. Data points that contradict this abound. Jay's lab is brimming with goal-oriented, driven men of high-standards who don't give one lick what their wives/girlfriends/SOs wear on their feet.

    It seems that Hammer has extrapolated his own opinion to apply as a universal rule. Errantly.

    By Blogger Mary Beth, at 4/21/2006 10:44:00 AM  

  • Well, Hammer shares the view of my husband, as well. He dresses nicely, and doesn't like lo-rise pants, jeans on women, grungy clothes, baggy t-shirts, "the college look", flip flops and the like. So, there are men who really appreciate the time it takes to apply makeup, do the hair and dress nicely, all while understanding that this is an effort to make themselves the best they can be.

    I always wonder why some women choose not to wear makeup. 99.99% of women look better with some form of makeup. Why not wear it, then? If I look better with makeup, and with polished clothes and clean and dressier shoes, then why not?

    Anyway, personal choice for sure! However, most men that I know sincerely appreciate a wife who dresses nicely, and applies makeup. My husband and I hear comments all the time about wives that don't get fixed up, don't cook, don't clean, don't do this or just adds to the unhappiness that is part of so many marriages.

    Again, if he married a flip-flop wearer, then it doesn't matter. With men being stimulated visually, (and not just sexually) it seems highly important to me to meet my husband at the door dressed and fixed up as nice as I can. I want him to want me every day-not because he has to because of our marriage contract, but because he is drawn to me as if we were still dating...he didn't marry a flip-flop wearer, so I will not take the easy road now that he has to live with me.

    By Blogger Rightthinker, at 4/21/2006 11:52:00 AM  

  • Some clarification is in order!

    My failure was not so much that I extrapolated my viewpoint to others, but that the group I extrapolated it to was too broad.

    Case in point - my friend J is goal driven and has high standards for himself. He is an engineer, a missionary, a former army officer, and a martial artist. He has the same level of attention to detail and low tolerance for sloth that I do.

    When I look at those attributes apart from the man, I envision the very picture I have described in this post - a man who also has high standards for his appearance, and thus would expect the same in a lady he is attached to.

    However, J is exactly the opposite. He actually takes steps to not look well dressed, recognizing that people usually judge other by their appearance, and preferring to be judged by his character.

    We separate in that I recognize that others usually judge by appearance, and I have no desire to try to work past a poor first impression. I look good, smell good, and darn it, am good at pretty much everything I do.

    What that tends to spur in most men is pride. The difference between J and I is that not only is he also good at everything he does, but he doesn't wear his knowedge of it on the outside. We both would state that we have pride issues - but you can only see it in me.

    That is why, although J is my brother in Christ, and we have equal value to the Son of the living God, that I consider him above me.

    The point is, most men of high standards and achievement are like me, not J. Men like J are rare indeed in this world, and they make men like me better. Most men with these traits always look sharp, and expect their lady to look the same. Talk all you want about how your man is goal oriented and high achieving, but if he is content to go to the store with you in sweatpants, he is not.

    Unless he is a J, in which case you should thank God for the extremely rare find you are paired with.

    By Blogger Hammertime, at 4/21/2006 12:23:00 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Mary Beth, at 4/21/2006 12:32:00 PM  

  • Mark,
    Aren't you a physics quitter? You can't be goal-oriented and have high standards!


    By Blogger Hammertime, at 4/21/2006 02:30:00 PM  

  • Before I offend someone - I may already have :( - I should say that I do not think that being goal-oriented or having high standards make you ANY BETTER than anyone else.

    They are simply personality traits. One can be motivated and dedicated without being goal-oriented. They can be people oriented. One can be effective and outstanding without having high standards - they simply choose to have standards which may not seem high to others...or ignore the standards that are irrelevant to a higher call - such as fashion.

    Case in point - one of the men I admire most - Rich Mullins. If there is an example of a man of God and achievement who had greater disregard for footwear, I do not know them.


    By Blogger Hammertime, at 4/21/2006 02:58:00 PM  

  • Hey, it's your blog! You're at liberty to offend whomever you like!

    By Blogger Mary Beth, at 4/21/2006 06:19:00 PM  

  • Hammer, did I ever claim to be goal orientated or to have high standards? Nah, didn't think so. Heck, I even use pseudo-words like "nah" and "yea" in my written communications.

    I assumed when I went out into the work force that I'd have a hard time, with my disrespect for authority and so on. But I care a great deal about people and guess what, in the work force real people depend upon you. I might not care if I let myself down and hardly care if others let me down, but I'll be damned if I ever let someone else down. Much to my surprise, it turns out I'm awesome in the work place.

    But you are actually correct about the physics and my lack of a Ph.D. One of the problems is my horrible memory, but the main problem is just what you stated. I never was good at the whole doing your homework thing.

    By Blogger Mark, at 4/22/2006 04:53:00 AM  

  • Hammer,

    Well you might have guesssed it but Marybeth's husband is a J just like mine. Interestingly enough they were college roommates and interestingly enough most of their roomates would probably all express the same attitude.

    I've seen J(both of them) dressed up and looking good but I've also seen them looking grungy which in my opinion is the only way to look when rollerblading while feeding the hungry.

    I honestly think that I would not have been able to do and go to the places where we've been if I had the mindset you are talking about here. You know me personally and so you know I'm not holding these thoughts againist you it's just that I think you've hit a sore button for me once coming back to the American Christian Church and seeing how people claim that in order to be the best Christian means to have the best clothes, drive the best car, have the best house, ect ect ect.

    All I have to say to that is in my personal experience with Christ I was called to deny all those things and give up my life of materialism, to serving God on a different scale. Not better but different. And this post evoked in me severe doubt as to whether my calling was right.
    And that sir is sad that for a day I questioned as to whether or not God wanting me to go buy a pair of Sandals with a heel.

    Then I realized that J and I are John the Baptists. Running around looking crazy and making people look at us and have to figure us out on a deeper level. We also reach out to people who are dressed in all they have. And from their mouths they won't ever approach or talk to someone wearing fine clothes because they know those people will look down on them (or assume they will).

    So while yes I would never wear flips to meet the president I also would never wear heal to serve food to the hungry or hand a bible to someone who's never seen one.

    Also this post evokes in my the hibby jibbies because of how much Koreans place looks over anything else. You know, you've heard the stories.

    I think this is a serious judgement that shouldn't be amoungst brothers and sisters in Christ.

    By Blogger anna, at 4/22/2006 10:37:00 AM  

  • Hammer,

    I just wanted to add that while I don't think my higher calling is fashion I'm glad there is someone out there looking half decent if not more.

    And Mrs. hammer, I do appreciate your willingness to help me through my "What Not to Wear" makeover. It was much needed and ever so much appreciated. However, I still long for those flat berkenstockish sandles you refused me. ;) Believe or not but I can still wear those pants and if you don't tell anyone.. I wear flip flops with them. :)

    By Blogger anna, at 4/22/2006 11:23:00 AM  

  • Rightthinker,

    I think it's great that you meet the needs of your husband. That is the key here.

    It's certainly fun to see what different men are attracted to.

    If I showed up at the door with a skirt on and makeup my husband would ask who died or if the president was over for tea, or would wonder if I was going on a date, without him.

    He personally rants on the wearing of makeup. Hates it, hates how it looks and how it damages the skin. He constantly compliments me on my nice coloring with rosey cheeks, sans makeup.

    I think it's neat how God has designed us each differently and our mates as well. And how he has matched the two together.

    Hammer and his wife are a perfect match, they compliment each other, hold the same standards and are a great team. Same with Marybeth and her J, as well as my husband and I.

    God Bless you all, with or with out flip flops

    By Blogger anna, at 4/22/2006 11:31:00 AM  

  • Only a group of women could have extrapolated a discussion of ugly footwear to spiritual judgment!

    I continue to be amazed at how men and women are so different. Women in general are more concerned about their appearance - I never realized that I would hit a such nerve. Whoa.

    If I'm going to offend, let it be in the cause of Christ. To me, this is a pretty silly thing to get defensive over! Good grief, wear what you want - just know it sends a message, for good or ill. I'm guessing you all already know that.

    By Blogger Hammertime, at 4/22/2006 01:04:00 PM  

  • Whoa to you too hammer, I wasn't really taking this all in seriousness, I know you personally and thought that this was a great discussion. We hold different views and I didn't mean to imply that you were casting spiritual judgement but judgement nonetheless.

    Yes women and men differ greatly in this area.

    This is my final say......really it is.

    By Blogger anna, at 4/22/2006 01:21:00 PM  

  • Wow, that is a real blanket statement about makeup..with the damaging the skin and such. Like I said, if your husband married a no-makeup, flip-flop wearer, then he is quite pleased with your continuing that. That is why there are unique tastes and different opinion.

    I do take issue, however, with Anna's commentary regarding "American Christian Churches" wanting the best of everything. I am appalled with most of modern Christianity, so we are in agreement with that. However, I can imagine that there is judgement cast on someone who is dressed up and drives a nice car.

    There is a split among Christians. There is a divide because there is a group who places high importance on materiality, and a group that thinks one must deprive themselves of all material possessions to somehow grow closer to God. I abandon both philosophies.

    I am married to a man who was in the Army to pay for his own college at a private Christian seminary. This is a man who gave up a great income to work for a Bible camp and live in a church parsonage with his young family.

    We have only a mortgage debt, because we decided to disregard societies protocal for credit spending. We live debt free and we are on a budget. Does this mean we should sell the things we have worked hard for, and that I should wear no makeup and wear sweat pants and flip flops? Does that somehow make me more of a martyr when I volunteer to help others and I am dressed in sweats?

    I grew up relatively poor. However, my mother made sure we were the cleanest, most well behaved and best disciplined kids on the block. I am the same way with myself and my kids. If we were driving a beater, like we did most years, it was washed, waxed and in good repair. It was driven to church that way each Sunday. Our home was small and modest, and it had the greenest yard on the block. What does this mean? Well, it showed that we were poor, but that we worked hard to make the most out of what we had.

    I think it is as much of a judgement for people to resent and formulate opinions about people who reject the idea that one must be plain to be close to God. It is the same as making a judgement about those who choose to wear makeup and dressy clothes, as it is to say that the "granola crowd" are somehow more level-headed, centered, or worst of all-that they are closer to God than a makeup wearer and person who has a nice vehicle.

    My husband and I will never have debt, and we will never be a slave to what society says we should possess. However, he works very hard to build his practice, and you had better believe we view the blessings as just that. I will always wear makeup (and it most certainly does NOT harm your skin) and I will continue to wear heels when I pass out a Bible. I wouldn't want people to assume that one has to be plain in order to really know God.

    By Blogger Rightthinker, at 4/22/2006 03:10:00 PM  

  • Argh.... I thought the last was my last say I wanted to clarify for rightthinker, I think we agree on the materialism issue. I think I just worded it in a way to make you think I pass judgement. I have no problem with people dressing up, driving a nice car, having a nice house. I do have a problem with those same people saying "You aren't reaching your full potential as a Christian if you do not gain these great blessings." Which I have had said to me while living on the mission field living off of 100 dollars a month. That is the issue I take with it. My kids are not dressed in rags, or are diry or any such thing and no I don't think that having less makes you closer to God. I said my calling was such, not yours. I lived a very materialistic lifestyle once and God had to pry such things off me. So yeah, I'm a little raw to such things. More so then I guess I even knew.

    If you feel my blanket statement about makeup is false then I apologize. My husband tends to view anything unnatural as being harmful to the body. Does that mean we forbid all unnatural things. No, we drink coke, eat an occassional mcburger but in this area he and I agree that it's one thing I personally don't need to do to my body, especially since I spent years being a slave to it, and it caused skin damage (ie zits, skin rashes,miscoloration, ect.).
    I'm thankful for the husband that I have. As I am sure you are for yours.

    By Blogger anna, at 4/22/2006 04:35:00 PM  

  • Hey! I'm back! I just wanted to let everyone know that I went out today and bought some new sandals! I was going to do it anyway because my old ones are trashed, but I bought sandals with a slight heel--not 1 1/2 inches, mind you, because I'm already three inches taller than my husband and that would just look silly. And boy do I feel like a better person now. I feel like the wife of a goal-oriented, driven man, and a woman that represents him well. I'm so glad I've seen the light!

    *Removing tongue from cheek*

    I just thought I'd share a quote from my friend John Wesley. Wanna hear it? He' it go:

    "In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity."

    There are children starving in this world. I can't believe that God cares one iota whether or not I wear makeup, what kind of car I drive, or if my yard is edged and trimmed.

    If I find out I'm wrong, I'm going shopping for a new God.

    By Blogger Mary Beth, at 4/22/2006 07:07:00 PM  

  • Mary Beth-God doesn't care if we wear makeup, or have a trimmed lawn. Perhaps you misunderstood what I was intending to communicate. What I was referring to, was that some people find it motivating to strive to be the best, no matter what the subject/situation. I am that way. My husband is that way. He got a 4.0 with his double major while working 2 jobs, not because he had to, but because he throws himself into things. My house is as clean as possible and I dress as nicely as I can while staying on a shoestring budget, because I throw myself into my job.

    I don't have to wear makeup. No one told me to do that. Believe me, after a year of chemo, and losing as nice of a body as one can be blessed with to falling out hair and a 100 lbs weight gain from steroids, I have no vanity. What I do have is the desire to look my best. It is a point of view. If you believe you look your best (or it doesn't matter to you either way) in a certain style and without makeup then that is wonderful for you. I look like a completely different person with modestly and tastefully applied makeup, and I choose that.

    With that said, I can't imagine someone equating looking good or looking plain with doing the work of God. I do the Lord's work every day, as does my husband, and we do so spending a few minutes more on our appearance than someone who does nothing at all. Our choice.

    The truth is that how a person dresses does matter in relation to how they are viewed. Whether or not that is fair or Godly is another issue. Of course, it goes back to who is doing the viewing. I know my husband loves me in teh morning without makeup, as he loved me when I birthed 4 children or when I am dirty in the yard. I just choose to live a more old-fashioned role (most of my life is reflected that way, as well) with believing that there is an unspoken dresscode that most don't adhere to.

    This is something that is perfectly acceptable to disagree on. The world seems to be divided into mostly extremes. Those who are materialistically driven (which also includes being vain and self-absorbed) and those who reject that idea. I just believe we can reject the idea of living for the world, and still wear makeup and heals.

    I, too, live a healthy lifestyle. We eat healthy and I practice natural medicine. We aren't far apart, and I am used to being one of a few who wears makeup daily and whose only sweats are for working out! Fortunately, I have had Mrs Hammer to cling to in the makeup and dresses aisle!

    By Blogger Rightthinker, at 4/22/2006 10:29:00 PM  

  • While my husband and I agree about the important issues (which is why we get along so well!), I will have to disagree here. It's funny to see SO many comments on such a minor issue, and how it led to so many other deeper issues- go figure. I couldn't let this one go though without a comment. I happen to like flip-flops, and have a confession to make. I have worn flip flops to places other than the mailbox and the backyard, unbeknowst to my husband! I know, shame on me. While I would never wear them to the store in my P.J.'s unless it was some kind of midnight emergency, I don't think it shows laziness to put on a cute pair of flip-flops with shorts or even a casual skirt. And, they ARE comfortable!! My husband has never had to spend a day in heels to know that they hurt your feet after any length of time. Plus, he should be glad I don't run around town in heels, trying to attract the attention of other men, since that obviously is what they do, by his own admission. Maybe all women SHOULD wear flip flops to prevent men from analyzing our legs as stumpy or long-legged. I make an attempt to always buy shoes with him in mind, since I've known from day one that he has a shoe fettish. I think we should each seek to please our own husband's likes and dislikes, which is what most of the comments I read were getting at. That's it, I'll let it lie now!

    By Blogger mrshammer, at 4/22/2006 10:39:00 PM  

  • Wow, mrshammer, I had no idea I was discussing shoes with a shoe fettish man! LOL! I wear only shoes with at least a 1 1/2"heel because my feet hurt in flat shoes and I don't think flip flops are cute or comfy. Again, that is why there are rows and rows at shoe stores!

    By Blogger Rightthinker, at 4/22/2006 10:44:00 PM  

  • Mrshammer bite your tongue woman! I have no desire to attract attention of other men. I just know that my husband would probably start looking at women that wore heels and skirts while I wore flip flops and jeans because he was highly attracted to the fact that I wore makeup and nice clothes every day when we married. That's all I'm saying here. I wouldn't want to let him down and not be who I was when I married him. Afterall, he just keeps getting better for me ;) Great to see you commenting! Happy Birthday!

    By Blogger Rightthinker, at 4/22/2006 10:47:00 PM  

  • You HAVE to go read the random question that was asked on my profile!

    By Blogger mrshammer, at 4/22/2006 11:32:00 PM  

  • LOL! TOO funny, mrshammer! Perhaps I should have read your profile before I commented about shoes! :D Ah, and with as long as we have been friends, you would have thought I would have known! ;)

    By Blogger Rightthinker, at 4/22/2006 11:40:00 PM  

  • thank you righthinker for letting us in on mrs hammers little secret.

    Happy Birthday, mrs hammer.

    Hope you had a great day.


    By Blogger anna, at 4/23/2006 12:43:00 AM  

  • No, the funny thing is I just went and filled out the profile page last night! Until then, it was blank. So, that random question popped up after this column on flip flops was posted. What a coincidence! Ha!

    By Blogger mrshammer, at 4/23/2006 02:20:00 PM  

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