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Tuesday, November 30, 2004

More Videogame Nonsense

I do promise to abandon my boring recounting of my Playstation2 escapades...later. No one reads this anyway.

That first season finished 4-9, which is 4 wins better than Army actually did in 2003. The next season, after some hard recruiting work, I went 5-7. I also found this out:

Nothing is more important than an offensive player's HANDS rating. I had an average turnover ratio of -2.3 this simulated year. -2.3! That means I turned it over more than twice more than my opponents did - per game! How I got to 5-7 is beyond me.

Thankfully I beat Navy both years, so I kept my job. Oh, I also learned something else:

The only thing that is almost as important as the 'hands' rating is recognizing coverage. I am an interception throwing fool. I mean, right-in-the-chest-of-a-stationary-opposing-player kind of interception fool.

Then, I lost a TON of players - but, since I beat Notre Dame on national TV that year, I had a LOT more interest. I went from the 94th best recruiting team to the 32nd best, bagging a blue chip recruit DE who is leading the team in sacks. My starting QB, FS, SS, TE, best WR and some other starters are all my recruits, most from this period.

The good news - I am 7-1, with the only loss a 4 point loss to Auburn (ranked #5 at the time) in the last minute. I am also in the running for coach of the year! The bad news - my freshman FS, who leads the team in tackles and inteceptions, just broke his fibula. I think that Houston will win the conference title over me, since they run the Run and Shoot, my cornerbacks suck, and my star safety is in the fetal position on the sidelines. Hey, I will still make a bowl at 10-2, and will probably get a new job offer. I haven't decided if I'll take it or stick with Army.

Time to go home. God bless America!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Blogging, Commie Style

I found this guide to blogging over at the Politburo Diktat:

I am considering putting a picture of Mrs. Hammer on the front page, since she qualifies as a hot chick, and I do not. I don't plan on asking, either.

Time to eliminate the double-tapped links...

Army Football Redux

So, now that I had finished the exam for this week, I engaged in more mindless NCAA Football. I started my Army season over because I had some trouble with the 'Profile' part of the game. This time I decided to use the Army playbook, figuring that maybe the reason that I could't effectively run the triple option with Army might be....because they don't have triple option players anymore!

Game 1: UConn 14, Army 10. Not good. 4 turnovers

Game 2: Army 10, Rutgers 7. Where are my points? I am passing for five times as much as before...and rushing for a third of the previous.

Game 3: Army 20, Tulane 14 (3 OT). I missed four field goals in this game and threw three picks. Tulane must suck.

I am playing on the 'Varsity' level, which is one above 'Pop Warner', I believe.

All that, and I got to sleep in until 8:30 AM, which is bloody amazing. Of course, since I was up until 2:30 with the virtual sons of slum and gravy, it wasn't as nice as it should have been.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Uh, Buh-Bye

Dan Rather. Leaving CBS Evening News in March.

I'm sure there is a 'priceless' spoof going around on this. Maybe I'll find it...

Staying up until 3am playing video games is silly. Doing it the night before you have to cram for a test is pretty stupid.

Unless I still pull off the A, that is.

The blogroll seems to work, so I'll add more and update it, er, soon. Tomorrow is highly likely.

(On Brave Old Army Team plays and fades)

Monday, November 22, 2004

Army Football


Yes, I know that Bobby Ross has led them to two wins this season (equaling the win total of the last three season COMBINED), but they are still sorry.

They are even crummy in video games. Mrs. Hammer let me get a used copy of NCAA 2004 (EA Sports), and I used Army until 3am last night in Dynasty mode. After a thumping by Duke (28-7, with 5 min quarters, and I run the triple option...), I pulled out wins against perennial powerhouse Rutgers and Conference USA beast Tulane. I followed that with thrashings by several teams, including UAB, South Florida, and Loiusville. I didn't even get a first down against UAB! I can run for around 100 yards with the fullback up the middle, but everything else is so impotent, it makes me want to quit. But the fun of the game is team-building. I'll let you know how it goes.

Notre Dame is my 'favorite team' in the game, but they are really good, so it takes the challenge out of it. I prefer using a sorry team and taking them to the BCS bowl in 5 years. I did it with the Devil Rays in MVP Baseball (EA) and Columbia(!) in March Madness (EA), so now football will be next!

It's a lot better than watching punk NBA players hit each other and stupid fans. David Stern, listen to me:


They have fostered that kind of attitude, going back to when Latrell Sprewell choked his coach, PJ Carlissemo. I heard PJ was a big jerk. Sometimes I think lots of people are jerks, but if I choke them, I should go to jail, not get a multi-million dollar contract from the Knicks. Get it?

The Aftermath...and the Future

Well, thank the Almighty, George W. Bush is the new POTUS. While it may not have particularly pleased my super sister and her way cool husband (it's forgivable, they are in a Blue state in the media business - who can blame them?), My Mom, Dad, Wife, Mom & Pop-in-Laws, and any friends worth having are all pleased. Even my felon of a cousin is glad - and the laws only get tougher under the Right. No, the only people who are unhappy are those who are depicted in this fabulous video:

While I do not beleive that most than half of the Kerry supporters were of this ilk,the fact remains that most of the Kerry squad did not dissociate themselves from the rabid left-wing. Oh, we have our nutjobs on the right, but we shut them in the closet a few years back, saying, "Sure, you can be on our team. Sit there nice and quitely, and we'll give you PB&J and a ballot every other year or so." Instead, the Dems have given to letting the radical leftists be their bullhorn. Until that stops, the Right will win over and over.

More power to 'em.

What will I talk about with no election coming up? Well, it's taken me two weeks to come up with...whatever I want. I think I have one more hit than when I started (Mrs. Hammer), so I ain't doin' it for anyone else anyhow. It's my therapy.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Do you wish the other guy won?

Here are his supporters:

Check it out. I hope you didn't eat right beforehand.

More later.


Monday, November 01, 2004

On the edge

That adequately describes me now.

Polls all over the place, national and state. Osama show up on TV, and tells the individual U.S. states that they can exempt themselves from his attacks, "Assam the American" threatens blood in the streets, and Kerry polls the populace before he gives a response to the OBL tape.

The results should be Bush big, but the polls don't show it yet. Rasmussen says there was no effect from OBL's sudden arrival.

Despite all of that, here are my predictions:

Popular Vote: Bush 52%, Kerry 47%

Electoral Vote: Bush 306, Kerry 232

Battleground States:
Bush wins Wisconsin, Ohio, Florida, Iowa, Minnesota, Nevada, West Virginia, Arkansas
Kerry wins Pennsylvania (in a squeaker!), New Hampshire, Michigan, New Jersey, Oregon

No lawsuits. Why? Because if it isn't close, they can't cheat.