D-I-V-O-R-C-E
Last Friday was a sad day, as I, along with any other listeners at the time, learned that my favorite radio show host, Dennis Prager, is going through a divorce of his 17-year marriage. Dennis and his wife have three children.
It is sad because divorce is sad. It is more so because Dennis actively promotes the importance of the family, and values such as loyalty, trust, honesty and integrity.
However, in his touching admission, Dennis lied to us. He said, "There are no bad guys in this."
Dennis surely wishes to keep the details of the proceedings under wraps, no matter who is at fault in the divorce. However, even though he did his best to insist otherwise, someone is at fault in this.
With a divorce that invovles children, there are basically two possible scenarios - one person is at fault, or both are at fault. Children always suffer from divorce, no matter what Dennis may say or liberal counselors may try to insist. The quintessential book on divorce and children is Judith Wallerstein's "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25-Year Landmark Study." The results are clear - children of divorce are always worse off than the children of parents who stay together.
As with any study of human behavior, there is no 100% predictive result. However, the recognition that children of divorce almost always suffer - combined with the surprising (well, surprising to some) information that when parents who are unhappy choose to divorce, they are four times less like to consider themselves happy five years later than unhappy parents who choose to stay together -
I don't agree with Dennis on serious points concerning relationships and divorce. However, his positions lead me to beleive that this is not a man who has been cheating on his wife or beating her. Furthermore, I am certain he is not divorcing her because they 'just don't get along'. Thus, despite his assertions that his wife has done nothing wrong, I am forced to consider her the 'bad guy' in this affair. Most honorable men would similarly not smear (with the truth) their wife in such a case.
It is sad because divorce is sad. It is more so because Dennis actively promotes the importance of the family, and values such as loyalty, trust, honesty and integrity.
However, in his touching admission, Dennis lied to us. He said, "There are no bad guys in this."
Dennis surely wishes to keep the details of the proceedings under wraps, no matter who is at fault in the divorce. However, even though he did his best to insist otherwise, someone is at fault in this.
With a divorce that invovles children, there are basically two possible scenarios - one person is at fault, or both are at fault. Children always suffer from divorce, no matter what Dennis may say or liberal counselors may try to insist. The quintessential book on divorce and children is Judith Wallerstein's "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25-Year Landmark Study." The results are clear - children of divorce are always worse off than the children of parents who stay together.
As with any study of human behavior, there is no 100% predictive result. However, the recognition that children of divorce almost always suffer - combined with the surprising (well, surprising to some) information that when parents who are unhappy choose to divorce, they are four times less like to consider themselves happy five years later than unhappy parents who choose to stay together -
I don't agree with Dennis on serious points concerning relationships and divorce. However, his positions lead me to beleive that this is not a man who has been cheating on his wife or beating her. Furthermore, I am certain he is not divorcing her because they 'just don't get along'. Thus, despite his assertions that his wife has done nothing wrong, I am forced to consider her the 'bad guy' in this affair. Most honorable men would similarly not smear (with the truth) their wife in such a case.
posted by Hammertime at
1/06/2006 11:50:00 AM
1 Comments:
SAH,
I don't deny that Dennis is fully capable of being the bad guy. However, listening to his program for a few months has given me insight into his worldview, and someone with such a worldview is significantly less likely to be an adulterer or wife-beater than those who do not have such a worldview.
Obviously I can't say definitively, either way. However, based upon my research knowledge and personal experiences, Mrs. Prager is the more likely candidate in this case.
My point was, however, that Dennis's assertion that 'there is no bad guy' is untrue. There is always a bad guy in divorce, and sometimes there are even two of them.
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Hammertime, at 1/11/2006 12:57:00 PM
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